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The Journey of Life – Beyond Society’s Expectations

Unable-to-get-pregnant-dont-judge-a-woman

The first year goes by without many questions...

Then the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th years pass, and still no signs of pregnancy! Many questions remain unanswered, and most are ignored. I manage the situation wisely while hiding away from the harsh reality. Free advice and pregnancy tips come from anyone who meets society's so-called eligibility criteria (Eligibility: get pregnant immediately after marriage or after multiple failed attempts).

That was my life in the eyes of others for five years…

My Reality vs. Society’s Expectations

To me, my life was joyful. My compatibility with my husband grew stronger, there was lots of love, new friendships, a flourishing career, countless appreciations, new responsibilities, our dream home, and growing savings. Unfortunately, all these beautiful aspects went unnoticed because… I wasn’t pregnant.

I watched friends and cousins get married and become parents soon after their wedding. I attended baby showers and first birthday parties, while I carefully chose to skip a few to avoid heartbreak.

The questions evolved from "When are you giving us the good news?" to "Are you consulting a doctor?"
Some even jumped ahead and asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?" and "When are you planning for the second child?"—even though I hadn’t had the first one yet!

Choosing My Happiness Over Society’s Timeline

It’s not just me—I know many women who go through this emotional rollercoaster. But no matter what happens, I stayed strong and confident because I never judged my ability or self-worth based on pregnancy. Having a baby is part of life, not the definition of it. I refused to let this 'reproductive cycle' dictate my ambitions, career, or happiness.

Is There Really a ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’ Time?

I got married at 23, and I wasn’t prepared for the rollercoaster ride that followed. Sharing life with a stranger wasn’t easy at first, but soon, my husband became my best friend, motivator, and greatest support.

Was having a baby the next step?
Not for me. Not then.

Shifting Priorities: From Baby-Making to Career

I wanted to grow in my career, pursue my passions, and eventually become an entrepreneur. And I have no regrets about choosing my career over societal timelines. Shifting priorities was my choice, and it’s one I made out of passion, not pressure.

The Real Meaning of Marriage

Why does marriage have to be seen as a gateway to parenthood? For me, marriage is about companionship and emotional bonding, not just physical bonding. Bringing a new life into this world should be a conscious, well-thought-out decision—a decision made by two hearts, two minds, and two souls, free from external interference.

Fast Forward to 2020 – A New Chapter

Life took a beautiful turn in 2020. After six wonderful years of marriage and a fulfilling career journey, we decided the time was right. I became pregnant in 2020 and delivered our baby girl in June 2021. She’s our greatest blessing—proof that everything happens at the right time, in the right way.

When we finally decided to start our family, we were emotionally stable, physically strong, mentally prepared, and financially secure. My husband and I embraced those nine months of joy together, cherishing every moment as we prepared to welcome our baby into our world of love and laughter.

Advice for Others on the Same Journey

For those still on the emotional bonding path—here’s my advice:
It’s your life. It’s your happiness. Plan it your way. Ignore the noise around you. You are the master of your destiny.

And for those who love to judge: It’s time to change your attitude.
You have no idea what someone is going through—be it mental stress, personal loss, or health challenges. The next time you’re tempted to comment or gossip, take a moment to reflect.

There’s no rule that says a woman must conceive immediately after marriage. Everyone’s journey is different, and every choice is valid.

Disclaimer
This post was originally published on 20-Apr-2016, edited on 17-Apr-2019, and updated on 10-Feb-2025 to reflect new life experiences and insights.

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